Available evidence suggests Steelers WR Antonio Brown was “most definitely” the last person to play the Madden 19 demo at the GameStop in Ross Park Mall yesterday, witnesses report.
“There was a guy who came in with a real chip on his shoulder,” recalled sales associate Danny Wade. “He took five hard steps toward me, knocked me to the ground, then cut hard toward the demo display. He didn’t even ask if I was OK; he just made me take an Instagram picture of him next to the title screen and kept yelling, ‘Don’t jam me again, bitch.'”
Following the incident, manager Jamie Owens briefly checked the game and found that the player had boosted all of Brown’s ratings to 99, even in unrelated areas such as Kicking Accuracy and Pass Block Power.
Further investigation only uncovered more peculiar changes.
“Whoever it was sure had an axe to grind,” she said. “He apparently traded JuJu Smith-Schuster to Cleveland for a tee and made a copy of Brown — or himself, I guess — apparently so he could play both quarterback and wide receiver, neither of which I knew you could do.”
“And I’m fairly certain the Steelers’ offensive coordinator isn’t named Randy Dickface,” she added.
When reached for comment, Brown denied having any involvement in the scene.
“Nah man, I was here with family,” he said in reference to teammates and coaching staff, claiming fresh blisters on several fingers came from “excessive hugging.” “These guys know I love spreading the ball around when we play some Madden. Bottom line: only thing that matters to me, whether I’m playing real football or PlayStation, is this team winning.”
GameStop employees recently revealed that Brown caught 149 passes for 21 TDs and kicked six field goals in the final game played by the man believed to be the mercurial WR. The Steelers still lost 161-197.
