Kris Roe is calling for a wide range of Pittsburgh musicians whom he can hire and fire in a furious outburst shortly thereafter for his band’s show Saturday, October 27 at the Smiling Moose, sources close to the Ataris frontman reported this afternoon.
“Considering his even temperament and flawless reputation within the punk and music communities, any area musician should feel honored to have a chance to work with Mr. Roe,” said an anonymous band representative in a phone conversation whose voice sounded strangely similar to that of the mercurial pop-punk veteran. “In fact, merely sharing the stage with me — er, or rather him — should be a bucket-list item on every musician’s list, let alone the chance to get 14 seconds into a song before being relieved of one’s duties, so don’t wait!”
Despite the band’s considerable following, the unnamed representative clarified that the offer is open to persons of all skill levels and backgrounds.
“The best part — besides getting to bask in the aura of Mr. Roe, of course — is that this opportunity is available to literally anybody willing to show up,” he said. “Whether it’s a novice drummer he can bully into never playing live music again or a guitar virtuoso he can immediately eject for bruising his ego, there’s nobody the talented Mr. Roe wouldn’t be happy to boot onto East Carson Street.”
Roe later responded to requests for comment, oddly calling from the same number as his representative. He shared that he wants fans to know that years of touring and lineup changes won’t affect his individual performance on October 27.
“Anybody who comes out, to see the show or just to have me employ and then immediately ban them forever from Ataris events, is going to get vintage Roe,” he said, asking if staff here had friends who needed tickets. “People always wonder if I can hack it at this age, but they’ll find out that I can still go on a megalomania-induced tirade with the best of them.”
Roe also cited potential prizes for guests of the show or those interested in playing alongside him.
“Who knows, I get pissed off enough, you might just win a free part of an instrument intended to bludgeon one of my bandmates — or, for that matter, you. Get your tickets or grab your gear today!”
