Pitt alum Sarah Barker demonstrated her generosity with a Christmas donation of more than $700 to Great Lakes Loan Services, the humble 33-year-old begrudgingly confirmed this morning.
“Generous? I’m just doing what I have to,” said Barker, obviously attempting to deflect the positive attention she has received for her thoughtful contribution. “I kind of wish I could’ve supported some more important causes with that money, but the threats of wage garnishment really motivated me to get behind this one.”
Barker explained that she felt inspired to give back to a loan community that provided her with such everlasting knowledge.
“Yeah, the Basics of Space Flight and Intro to Archaeology have really proven their worth in my time as a junior account manager,” she noted, exhaling deeply in what appeared to be deep appreciation. “And who knows? If I hadn’t paid ten grand to share a room shaped like a tiny pie slice with a girl from Nebraska who thought showers were a creation of the devil to wash away God’s light, maybe I wouldn’t be who I am today.”
Sources say that Great Lakes Loan Services hope to keep Barker on as a monthly sustaining member, for which they will reward her by not destroying her credit.
