The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come expressed their outrage today that Drusky Entertainment had moved their planned appearance in Brian Drusky’s bedroom last night to Jergel’s in Warrendale on Thursday, March 28.

“We had this booking locked in for months,” said the Ghost of Christmas Past. “I’ve been working tirelessly on this haunting for a while now, perfecting every little last tidbit of my routine: what moments from the past I show, when I make remarks to incite meaningful reflection — everything. The goal was to inspire the man to consider his miserly treatment of local musicians in a tide of Christmas spirit, not have a bunch of middle-aged suburban men tell me to ‘shake it, ghost babe.'”

Drusky representative Mariah McDowell explained why the company felt it best to move the appearance’s date and location.

“We had some real strong market research at the original venue,” she said, which reportedly referred to Drusky asking his family what they thought about a prose act in the bedroom. “The younger crowd, their response was lukewarm at best and we weren’t sure how the sound would really work anyway. Honestly, if you’re asking for a guarantee of redemption and a giving heart born anew, the least you could do is be a bit flexible.”

The Ghost of Christmas Present argued that the promoter should realize that the nature of the performance depends on specific circumstances.

“I’m Ghost of Christmas Present, for fuck sake; I don’t have time for this shit,” he said, as he stopped by the house of an impoverished local indie band forced to give its own merch away as presents this year to tell them of the change. “I literally live in the immediate moments and day of Christmas. To wait until March 28 means I’d have to survive 92 lifetimes, and as big a believer in Christmas miracles as I am, it’s safe to say that that is fucking impossible.

For him, the change simply created too many logistical difficulties.

“How am I supposed to ‘push’ our show when I know I’m going to be fucking dead by the time it happens?”