Steelers defensive coordinator Keith Butler is reportedly wandering Downtown Pittsburgh in search of Three Rivers Stadium, which he believes to be the site of today’s game versus the Cincinnati Bengals, concerned parties have reported.
“Dammit, I knew we should’ve sent a car to go pick him up,” said head coach Mike Tomlin, as members of the coaching staff began calling medical centers to ensure nobody mistakenly took Butler in for evaluation of his mental health. “It’s a good thing we put that tracking chip in him after those comments he made the other day. The last time he went missing, we found him dressed in his old Seahawks uniform, trying to book a commercial flight to their game in San Francisco.”
“I don’t even care if he keeps calling me Bill. I just need him here,” he added.
Team staff stated that they typically encourage Butler to write important information on his arm in permanent marker, but did not consider having him include the game’s location.
“Usually, we have him jot down the week’s schedule, the name of the opponent, and a copy of our roster, just to be safe,” said defensive backs coach Tom Bradley. “He has hadn’t any issues finding a place since a couple years ago when he thought the Colts still played in Baltimore, so we never imagined we would need to tell him we no longer play home games in a stadium that was imploded nearly 18 years ago.”
As of press time, Butler was reportedly approaching Center Avenue, certain somebody at the Civic Arena would be able to help.
