WEST MIFFLIN — Kennywood Park faces further controversy this morning after observant visitors noticed the park serving several different brands of beer to minors other than local favorite Iron City.
“Absolutely unacceptable,” said Jim Hillier of Munhall. “No family establishment, especially one of this caliber, should ever be so careless as to provide minors with a pilsner that doesn’t feature the smooth hometown finish you can only find in an Iron City. It’s a disservice to parents, the community, and most of all teenagers who just want to kick back on a hot day at the park with a crisp, refreshing local beer.”
Spring Hill’s Jack Wisniewski claimed to have experienced the miscue first-hand when he visited the park with his family.
“I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” he said. “My son just walks up to a random vendor and gets handed a beer, which was super convenient, by the way, since I’m always having to buy it for him. Before I could ask him to get me one, though, I realize they gave him a shitty Coors Light.”
“First, they feed us crappy cheese and then second-rate ketchup. Now, my 16-year-old has to choke down this garbage corn water. Where will the madness stop?”
Kennywood attempted to address the issue via Twitter with mixed results.
“Nobody — we repeat, nobody — should be serving your kids beer,” read a post from this afternoon that dozens of users suggested was a diversion to “save a few bucks at the expense of young drinkers.” “Seriously, we get the other stuff, but aren’t you more worried about teen drinking than WHAT they are drinking?”
As of press time, more pictures have emerged of teenagers being given Yuengling, which critics have heralded as a “step in the right direction.”
