HEINZ FIELD — Neither staff, students, or other guests attending Pitt’s Saturday afternoon game against Delaware know how former coach Dave Wannstedt managed to sneak a full keg of American Light into the student section, sources filling out an impromptu waiting list for keg stands confirm.
“I heard somebody shout ‘Real-life Donkey Kong!’ from the top of the section,” said senior Lexi Stone, waiting for the cue to raise the funnel end of a beer bong. “Then I see this keg rolling down the stairs with Wannstedt right behind it, high-fiving people and throwing out plastic cups. By the time he got to the bottom row, he was already inciting a ‘Penn State sucks’ chant like he hadn’t missed a beat.”
Fellow senior Chris McKee speculated how the Baldwin native might have made past stadium staff.
“He must’ve greased security or something,” he said, hurriedly making beverages from the makeshift liquor shelf Wannstedt had arranged. “I don’t think you’re even allowed to bring a tub full of fresh ice into the stands, let alone an entire half barrel — or an Irish coffee that smells that strong, for that matter.”
As of press time, Wannstedt had declined to comment, as it was almost his turn in a row-long game of flip cup.
