CRAFTON — Sports journalist Dejan Kovacevic promised the family of a recently deceased opioid addict this morning that he “won’t back down” until Mayor Bill Peduto takes meaningful action to combat “the vicious cycle of suffering” perpetuated by the Pittsburgh Pirates’ current ownership, according to sources fiercely vowing Derek Bell will never harm anyone in this town again.
“I understand exactly where the Hendersons are coming from,” said Kovacevic, interrupting the family’s attempts to explain their story to “spare them the pain of reliving the decline of their beloved baseball franchise.” “Those slumped shoulders, that vacant stare, the outpouring of grief — I knew it could only mean one thing: yet another family devastated by more than two decades of incompetent Pirates management.”
In recent weeks, the sports beat veteran has petitioned Mayor Peduto directly on social media to use his position as a catalyst for change.
“What’s done is done,” he said. “I can’t make the Mayor go back and stop the club from years of dreadful signings — or the Henderson kid from stealing narcotic-grade painkillers, I think I heard someone say — but I will make sure that he looks his constituents in the eye and tells them they will never have to endure the hurt of a minor league-quality starting infield ever again.”
The Hendersons’ neighbor Grant Banks appreciates Kovacevic’s fervor, but finds it misdirected.
“We have to keep our priorities straight,” he argued. “[Kovacevic] wants to spark reform in our baseball team, and yet our city currently has no long-term answers at the quarterback position. Are we really so short-sighted as to let a whole generation of young Steelers fans fall into the spiral of accepting washed-up journeymen behind center?”
“If anything, he could at least be fighting to ensure every establishment in Pittsburgh is using Heinz products,” he added. “It’s like, I get what you’re doing, but why not push for stuff that really matters?”
