TAMPA BAY — Following a trade that marked his return to the NFL, tight end Rob Gronkowski stated in a press conference yesterday he feels he still has “at least three, maybe four more” high-quality, debilitating injuries left in him before retiring for good.
“Critics will talk the loudest; they always do,” he said in a conference staged from his home. “All I can do is walk out there and show I still have what it takes to suffer excruciating, permanent damage to vital ligaments, bones, and cerebral tissue in the name of a child’s game. They’ll say I’m too slow to make an impact, but when I snag that big five-yard pass before having my knee absolutely destroyed by a helmet-first hit, remember who called it first.”
Reporters asked what Gronkowski felt he had to prove after compiling one of the most decorated injury reports in NFL history, including an ankle sprain 2011, a broken forearm in 2012, an ACL tear and MCL tear in 2013, a herniated disc in 2016, a groin injury in 2017, and a second grade-one concussion in 2018.
“I think any pro strives to do more,” he said, making sure he hadn’t just tweaked his neck turning to answer the question. “A lot of guys play ball for five, ten, 15 years, and all they’ve got to show for it is a little turf toe and playing card. When I reach my senior years — you know, 40 or 45 — I want to be able to say that I pushed my body to the absolute limit, ideally from a location where I won’t have to walk very far and with few reminders that I’m repeating myself or calling people by the wrong name again.”
In related news, safety Mike Mitchell made clear his intention to return to the NFL as well, insisting he still had “a couple outstanding” excuses for blown coverage left for any team willing to take them.
