SOUTH BEND, Ind. — In light of the NCAA’s announcement decrying displays of the Confederate flag, administrators at Catholic-based Notre Dame expressed relief this morning that their university carries “totally no long-term connections whatsoever, now or ever” to any institution of disrepute, sources shaking their head repeatedly saying “nope” confirm.
“We’re happy to hear of the NCAA’s decision,” said Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick. “It’s a shame so many of these schools don’t stand up to the obvious barbarism and tyranny symbols like the Confederate Flag represent. Good thing is, your squeaky-clean University of Notre Dame has absolutely no ties to any century-old institutions guilty of, say, criminal indifference to widespread sexual abuse and systemic conspiracy — no siree Bob, nothing like that at all.”
Similarly, the NCAA also expressed its “satisfaction” this morning that, “unlike oppressors of the past,” it has never profited off the unpaid labor of others.
