Whoa whoa whoa — where do you think you’re going there, bud? Absolutely not. I can’t be letting you in wearing a shirt like that. This is a bar that knowingly defies all state regulations designed to protect people during a pandemic, not fashion anarchy.
Hey now, I respect people of all backgrounds; I just can’t let you stroll in with a plain white shirt like that. That guy? Oh, well his otherwise plain white shirt has a little American flag on it. Even if he does cough openly on other customers, I couldn’t deny a guy entry for loving our country, could I?
I understand you’re upset, but bottom line is, we’ve got rules here, pal, and 27 of the 28 happen to include what you can’t wear if you want to come in here despite our establishment not serving food or offering outdoor seating. The other one is cash only.
Listen, I know you probably want to bad-mouth us online, but we’re honestly a pretty fun and open-minded joint. We pay out for the video poker machines in the back. We’ll serve your 17-year-old cousin as long as he isn’t driving. We take it easy and love cutting a few jokes how all two dozen people here sitting shoulder to shoulder have an undisclosed medical condition where they don’t have to wear a mask.
That said, we have to have some standards, and if we don’t draw the line at solid color shirts, then where does the slippery slope end? Next thing somebody will want to march in here with Timberland boots or a suit and tie, telling us again how we’re supposed to wash the glasses with more than a rinse of water, and we can’t let happen.
I hope you understand; it’s nothing personal. We simply care about the safety of our customers and don’t think they would feel comfortable if we let somebody in here openly against dress code policy, you know?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a beer pong tournament to referee. We have very strict guidelines for play, and if one team thinks the other isn’t drinking out of the same glasses as the team before them, boy, do they get pissed.
