NORTH SHORE — Pirates owner and billionaire Bob Nutting greeted the Blue Jays organization today by including in each hotel room two coupons for a free appetizer on any otherwise full-priced stay at Seven Springs, sources who would’ve just been happy with a handshake confirm.
“We appreciate Mr. Nutting’s kind gesture,” said Blue Jays manager Charlie Montoyo. “The guys will definitely need to blow off some steam this year, and I’m sure a few potato skins or cheese sticks will, uh, do the trick…I guess. At any rate, he’s clearly an easygoing partner: I asked if we could extend the coupon’s deadline past August, given the global pandemic and all, and he pushed it back to September — excluding Labor Day, of course.”
Nutting explained the impetus behind the move.
“It’s important to form a bond not just professionally, but also personally,” he said. “That’s why I didn’t offer, say, a steak or duck breast: don’t want to come off as too stuffy. Frankly, if I can’t go out of my way to comp these folks some jalapeno peppers fit for a king after booking a lovely $500 stay on our resort, then what kind of partner — no, friend — would I be?”
As of press time, Blue Jays sources report that Nutting has since sent a follow-up e-mail encouraging players to order the nacho plate because it was “easiest on the ol’ purse strings” and to launder their bedding before leaving “to help a pal out.”
