WASHINGTON — The Washington NFL franchise faced more controversy this week as critics called out the team’s “absurd” appropriation of a real professional football team.
“It’s downright sad,” said football columnist Michael Broznik. “I’m glad they shed their horribly racist name, but to go ahead and falsely assume the identity of another group of people — in this case, honest-to-God professional athletes playing in the NFL — isn’t a solution to the problem. This move is truly a bold-faced slap in the face to pro football teams everywhere.”
The team defended its current name, claiming it served as a “show of respect” for professional football organizations.
“We want to embody all the virtues a real pro football roster,” said franchise spokesperson Ryan Tripp. “Having a QB who can throw more than 8-yard routes, a competent coaching staff, generally being competitive — you know, all the things that the public thinks of fondly when they imagine a traditional, prideful representation of football teams. To this end, we’ve even made a significant investment to send ambassadors into local elementary schools who will promote the feats of football greats and explain why our new name is meant to enshrine, not demean them.”
In an attempt to improve its image, the team has reportedly committed to other “socially conscious” policies, such as not signing running backs accused of violent crimes if they average fewer than four yards per carry.
