SHADYSIDE — Local resident Mike Fuller hopes “absolute fucking legend” and Mt. Lebanon native Mark Cuban can still save his marriage, even though the billionaire was unable to outbid an offer from mid-sized Mero Restaurant Group to save Oakland mainstay Original Hot Dog Shop.
“I mean, he liked the tweet in which I begged him to help me patch things up,” said Fuller, who has yet to contact his wife since she left to stay at her parents’ a week ago, confident “big dawg” Cuban would rectify the situation. “That’s basically as good as a decree from God that it’ll get done, so I’ll just sit back and let him take over. If there’s anything my man Mark is known for, it’s that he always steps up to bail out the local little guy in need.”
As of press time, sources say Fuller’s brother Dave intends to tweet Cuban “just once or twice more” before calling 911 to rescue his family from the man holding them hostage.
