UNIONTOWN — The Eiffert family fondly recalls their meticulously researched, “once-in-a-lifetime” vacation to the West Coast costing more than $4000 based solely on the impromptu $29 stop at regional chain In-n-Out Burger, according to sources wishing they could at least take the receipt down from the mantle when hosting guests.
“I thought the enthusiasm was a precursor of a great two weeks to come,” said father Buck Eiffert, eyeing the framed copy of their order alongside another frame with notes who had eaten what. “Instead, the Hilton made us leave after my wife called the replica burger she order ‘a patty of shit on a bun.’ I even had to nix a visit to Mt. Rushmore on the way back because my youngest started crying after learning that getting your food ‘animal style’ was not an unalienable right protected by the Constitution.”
Mr. Eiffert intended for the money to go towards more practical expenses, but felt his family deserved an extraordinary experience.
“When you put in 60 hours a week at work for four straight months, you like to have something to show for it,” he said. “Some folks get that new car or a nice deck, but I said, nope, I’m going to give the kids something they’ll never forget. Now I’ll never forget when the $850 helicopter ride I got us overlooking L.A. took too long and the nearest In-n-Out franchise was closed by the time we got there. Apparently my daughter still brings it up every week at therapy.”
Despite Mr. Eiffert’s assertion that he has no plans to organize future trips, his wife, daughter, and son have reportedly started arranging their own. Virus concerns have limited their opportunities, but they still hope to take a road trip next summer down South to “embrace the quiet beauty and classic charm” of a Bojangles’ Famous Chicken ‘n Biscuits.
