PITTSBURGH — Mayoral candidate Tony Moreno reverted to his base form of a winged fedora and fled the area after suffering defeat in yesterday’s primary election, goateed sources wearing wraparound sunglasses reported glumly this morning.
“I was cruising around in my [long-decommissioned] Crown Vic for hoodlums when I saw him in the middle of the road,” said supporter Rick Hellmann. “Before I could talk to him about demanding a recount, he burst into a cloud of smoke and fluttered off.”
As of press time, Hellmann and like-minded voters had gathered to discuss “voting inconsistencies,” complaining that none of the approximately two dozen gatherers had the mayoral primary on their ballot in Baldwin Borough.
