NORTH SHORE — Following a “torturous series of delays,” BetRivers has announced the official over-under for shirtless guys CBS will show on tonight’s Steelers-Raiders broadcast, according to sources considering a parlay with the number of fans dressed like Santa featured by the network.
“This line right here is the one to flaunt your chops as a betting expert,” said trends analyst Martina Carter. “It’s the kicking into the stadium’s open end of gambling: sure, it’s easy to say that the extreme weather should bring the line down, but that’s often counterbalanced by the machismo it awakens in the demographic of dudes who’ve had at least 10 Bud Lights. Plus, with after-market tickets priced in the single digits, there’s that looming X-factor of two dozen men at McFadden’s, all wearing backwards fitted hats and a jersey over their hoodie, snatching up a bunch of seats last-minute and throwing the whole line into disarray — assuming they’re even put together enough to gain entry. Bettors beware indeed.”
As of press time, sources say a fervor had gained traction over an unofficial, high-action prop bet whether the man lying on the sidewalk in front of Tequila Cowboy were dead or alive.
