PITTSBURGH — Local safety officials finished rescuing several NFL defenders yesterday after the players were discovered late Sunday afternoon stranded partway up Steelers TE Darnell Washington.
“Happens more often than you think,” said city firefighter Paul Kramer, signaling for the crew on site to conduct a thorough search of Washington’s shoulder pads for any other struggling tacklers. “These pro athletes, granted they’re some of the toughest guys in the world, but they come to town thinking they’re invincible and do silly stuff like trying to topple a mountain. Good thing that guy on the Bengals threw his glove down for the ref to find because the Browns player was already up there a couple weeks and had to eat his towel waiting for help.”
“For as jacked as those guys are,” Kramer added, “still think nobody has gotten any higher than that Pitt kid who climbed Washington at night after chugging 11 Four Lokos. Made it all the way to the face mask before we found him.”
As of press time, team sources confirmed that the rescue efforts had been aided by tackle Broderick Jones, who brought down Washington while trying to celebrate the receiver’s most recent touchdown catch.
