GREENFIELD—A combination of several rescue crews worked for several hours this afternoon to save a five-ounce fish fillet caught under nearly 4,000 pounds of fried batter, onlookers reported.
“A handful of Good Samaritans held the fort before professionals could arrive,” said fish fry volunteer Deb Szewiczyk. “The two bigger gentlemen were biting off as much as their mouth while people got them tartar sauce and some light beer, but you can only do so much without the right tools. We’re just thankful our local heroes were able to save the little darling, so it could get tossed into a Styrofoam container of mac and cheese like it deserved.”
Lieutenant Allison Marshall of the Munhall Fire Department detailed hardships that crews faced completing the rescue.
“Every scene like this is different,” she said, wiping fryer oil from her brow. “Lot of times you see some weak points in the exterior fry to enter. Not here, though: this bad boy must’ve been triple, maybe even quadruple-battered, which meant we had to put in a lot of effort just to achieve ingress. You could tell that little fillet in there was a tender and flaky one, too, so we had to take extra precautions or the tiny thing could’ve fallen right apart in our hands before we could complete the rescue.”
Crews had little time to celebrate, however, as safety officials confirmed they were called shortly thereafter to remove a french fry that had gotten lodging under 700 pounds of Old Bay seasoning.
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