Whoa, come on, guys! Why the long faces? Yeah, I know, I know — the Penguins lost. Man, they really stunk up the joint, huh? But listen, before you start talking about disappointment this and underachieving that, let me hit you with a quick reminder: it’s not about the underwhelming destination, fellas; it’s about all the squandered hours, miserable hangovers, and thousands upon thousands of dollars you coughed up along the way.
That, my friends, is what counts most.
Seriously, think about it. Would you really be that excited for the Pens to have won the Stanley Cup if you hadn’t — oh, I don’t know, say — skipped your kid’s high school basketball senior night to watch a Tuesday night 5-2 loss against the Sharks? I, for one, sincerely doubt it.
By the way, how about that Sharks team, am I right? Boy, they’re a lot of fun to watch. Even more than a must-win WPIAL basketball game, I’d say!
Anyway, let’s keep things in perspective. It’s not like any of us would have been all that happy for a second-round series if we had never taken a dozen shots of whiskey before work the next day. Gosh, could you imagine if the Pens had won it all and my manager hadn’t sent me a not-so-subtle e-mail “by mistake” with contact information for behavioral and alcohol counseling? I’d feel like some sort of bandwagoner!
And that’s not even the worse part, pals. Think of all the stuff we would have wasted our money on if we didn’t have our beloved Penguins hockey: a new SUV? Loses half its value when you take it off the lot. A swimming pool? Say hello to those troublesome contractors for me! New clothes for the kids? What are we, the Kardashians?
Heck, if we had saved all that money, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now working this overtime shift to make ends meet!
So, remember, keep your chins up. We put in some hard work this year, and we all know it would have felt undeserved if the Pens had to grind their way to the top and we didn’t.
Welp, I’m going to duck out for a liquid lunch and catch some of the Pirates game. You guys coming?
