This excerpt is from Pittsburgh Unfiltered’s completely unlicensed hockey compendium A Game of Violence: Three Periods and a Lot of Blood, which will be made available as a free PDF download at the start of the Penguins season on Thursday, October 3. We wanted to get, like, Scott Paulsen or our beer guy Vince to write a guest entry, but this goofball wouldn’t leave us alone, so enjoy — or whatever.
Hello reader,
My name is Gary Bettman and I’m the commissioner of the very popular, highly prosperous, and virtually controversy-free National Hockey League. You may have seen me, some of my colleagues, and good hockey friends – just ask them! – briefly between basketball highlights and high school softball coverage on the ESPN – yes, the very same you’re thinking of!
Before I go on, let me express my pleasure in your attention to hockey – a sport of international renown that’s sure to make you the life of the party. To maximize what you can learn from this book, it’s best to acquire some NHL-licensed merchandise from our online store. Enter the code ‘book’ upon checkout for free shipping!
Now that you know to be properly dressed for the occasion, let’s talk hockey. Throughout this book, you are sure to read a wealth of information about the sport’s beginnings, rules, players, and so on. Now, I want it to be known: I am a very humble man, especially considering my position – did I mention I am the Commissioner of the National Hockey League and that the title for my job was formerly called “President”? – and as a man of such a virtue, I stick to the facts – perhaps most importantly, the league I run, the National Hockey League, is the biggest, longest-running professional hockey organization in the world. We’ve been around for almost 100 years!
To complement such an incredible feat, there have only been three lockouts throughout the entirety of the league’s existence, demonstrating how committed we are to creating an equitable work environment for our players that is accessible to fans all around the globe. (These lockouts occurred in 1994, 2004, and 2012, all during Bettman’s tenure as commissioner, having taken the position in 1993. – Editor)
So it should be no surprise that most of the information you will see going forward is based on what has happened and is happening in the National Hockey League. Sure, you might come across some points about international hockey or other leagues, but you can gloss over it because when it comes to number one, you know who it is!
Now that we’re friends, let’s take one last look at the great stuff you can get at our online shop. Enter the code ‘friends’ at checkout and get 15% off!
