STRIP DISTRICT — Local woman Nicole Steadman is reportedly waiting to ask a vendor in the Strip District if they have their ‘Fuck Tom Brady’ T-shirt in kids sizes after determining it to be the ideal Christmas gift for her seven-year-old niece.
“The first thing that stands out to me,” she said, “is how darn cute it looks: Dakota would love how the little stars in the Steelers logo add some color to ‘fuck’ and that cheating sack of shit’s name. It’s adorable and has got a good message, to boot — what better way to celebrate the season?”
Steadman allegedly considered other shirts for the first-grader, but ultimately objected to an element in each of them.
“‘Cleveland Sucks’ is always a valid point, no doubt,” she added, “but where’s the passion, the heart for hating Cleveland in that? As for the shirt with the comic of the Ravens fan crapping in the urinal, that’s great for boys and all, but how about a female version of her putting makeup all over her fat ass because it’s prettier than her face? Now that’s something I could get a for a growing young lady.”
As of press time, sources say Steadman has refused the vendor’s suggestions to get a pink shirt instead, noting that she didn’t want to force her niece to fulfill gender roles or “look like a fucking pussy.”
