BLOOMFIELD — Researchers “looking for a stiff drink” have compiled overwhelming evidence that the bar they entered also serves as a fully functional house, sources trying not to stare at the family photos while they urinate confirm.
“We originally hypothesized that the exterior had simply been too costly to replace,” said one of the discovery’s leading members Buddy Tompkins. “We had to completely disregard that notion, though, when we found a recently half-eaten bologna sandwich in the kitchenette on the way to the bathroom. Once we made visual confirmation of the ‘smoking section,’ where several people were also doing their laundry, we knew we were onto something big.”
Astounded sources have started reporting other instances of the phenomenon throughout the Greater Pittsburgh Area, including one bar that was a house, casino, drug den, and, “most shocking of all,” a pretty decent place to eat.
