GREENFIELD — Friends till the end, the saying goes, and decades-long buddies Mark Jablonski and Ralph Hale haven’t let busy lives, changing technology, or even a pandemic stop them from living this adage in full: no matter what’s going on in the world, these two still set aside time every week to chat face-to-face, typically right “in the middle of Beechwood goddamn Boulevard” when people who don’t have time to kill need to get to work.
“Sweet Christ almighty, I guarantee Diane is ‘getting along just fine,’ Mark,” shouted commuter Darryl Womack after hearing Mr. Jablonski ask Mr. Hale about his wife as other drivers hastily pull around them on each side of Browns Run Road. “She’s been getting along just fine for the past four godforsaken months you’ve had this exact same conversation, why would it change now?”
“Yes, he’s seen the fucking billboard, too, Ralph!” added a furious Womack.
Darlene Horstmann, who lives within a couple blocks of both, admits she’s not sure what the pair feels obliged to talk about anytime they pass one another on the street.
“I know for a fact that they live on parallel streets,” she said, holding the bridge of her nose in frustration as Mr. Hale reached for a notebook he keeps in the CD holder of his car to write down a phone number that he could easily find on Google. “In fact, I’ve seen Mark holler down to Ralph from his porch that overlooks the hill. They’re grandkids also play baseball together and they meet up for happy hour three nights a week. Just say, ‘I’ll see you soon’ and please get the hell out of the way.”
Despite the outside disapproval, Jablonski still considers the time spent gridlocking rush hour traffic valuable.
“Feel like I barely see Ralph anymore,” he said. “If we didn’t stop to talk when we saw each other on the road, or in the entrance of Giant Eagle, or while the crossing guard was holding up the street so we could cross, or at the gas pumps when people were waiting to use them, I’m worried my buddy would think I was ignoring him.”
For his part, Mr. Hale claimed he preferred “doing things old school,” which sources at home verified by his habit to make time “nearly every minute of the day” to chat right in the middle of his wife’s sentence.
