(Article by Lauren Tenders)
Summer has returned and, with it, a glimmer of normality ushered in by social gatherings, live entertainment, and — Christ, help us — this guy to our left, Paul, housing two dozen wings with complete disregard to his well-being and dignity.
Is this it? Is this the ‘new normal’ we’re left with after nearly 18 months of seclusion and reflection? What a load of shit. Even this dude’s mom agrees.
“Too soon,” said his lovely mother, Carmen. “I know it’s been nearly two years, but I still wasn’t ready to start driving his ass home again because he’s too ‘lubed up’ on garlic BBQ sauce and Bud Light to focus.”
As of press time, we – please use the wet wipe before you try talking, good God – anyway, as of press time, we’re ready to not see people for another few years.
