The Penguins believe their latest acquisition will prove to be a dramatic improvement on the blue line, team executives said of the road cone after today’s morning skate.
“We really think this guy can come in a stabilize our defense,” said GM Jim Rutherford. “He’s got everything you could possibly want in a defenseman: a strong build, always staying exactly — and I mean exactly — where the coaches want him, and a cool, stoic composure that you don’t often see from somebody his age. Needless to say, we’re happy to have picked up off the side of road — quite literally, might I add.”
Coach Mike Sullivan shared his GM’s glowing review following some live action he had seen of the new arrival.
“This guy cuts down lanes and angles like a consummate pro,” he said, mentioning that he called the front office to send some other scouts to evaluate him in live traffic situations. “I can remember one play in particular where a sports car tried to make this quick little inside-out move, and he just went into all-out mode and got down to the pavement as fast he could. Putting your body on the line like that — it’s the kind of dedication that wins you championships.”
AT&T Sports color commentator Bob Errey expressed excitement over the addition to the Pens injured defensive unit.
“Talk about a competitor,” he said. “I watched [the cone] in practice the other day, and he must’ve blocked 20 or 30 shots without flinching. You don’t see that kind of grit very much in today’s NHL. Not to mention the way he clogs up the middle of the ice. I think you’re going to see him out there almost 30 minutes a night at this rate.”
“I legitimately think he could be the best underrated pick-up for the Penguins since the fire hydrant with a mullet that scored 40 goals on Mario’s wing decades ago,” added Errey. “Or was that Rob Brown? Honestly, I don’t think I could tell the difference.”
