KDKA will address the firing of a staffer for his lack of “journalistic responsibility” this evening right after 20 minutes of traffic updates and a squirrel on water skis, station sources recently reported.
“We take our duty as a trusted news source very seriously,” said station manager Jay Howell while approving a story about an imprint in an ice patch that looks like Donnie Iris. “It’s important for the viewing public to know why we make the decisions that we do, but not without first hitting them with the town’s best coverage of everyday rush hour traffic and a woodland creature performing a water sport. It’s exactly that kind of professionalism that keeps KDKA on top.”
Producer Mike Telek was let go by the station after identifying Patriots QB Tom Brady in a segment as a “known cheater.” Evening anchor Stacy Smith said he understood Mr. Telek’s intent, but it was misplaced.
“I get it — trying to make something ho-hum like sports coverage a little more interesting,” Smith said. “I know that things can get stale when you don’t get a chance to overanalyze a slowdown on the Parkway East or interview somebody who claims Bill Cowher saved her from a house fire by warning her in a dream, but you have to maintain a certain level of integrity in this business.”
“For instance, I have a story later today on a potential house burglar who was attacked and nearly killed by a dog,” he added. “The segment is called ‘Taking a Bite out of Crime,’ and as a respected member of the news community, I can only giggle at that pun once, twice max.”
The station noted that it will also cover boil advisories in the area after another 20-minute block of weather and in-depth analysis of Antonio Brown’s latest Instagram post.