Considered a heavy favorite, former Pitt men’s basketball head coach Kevin Stallings suffered a surprise defeat this afternoon in the opening round of interviews for an assistant manager position at a local Target.

“On paper, I was the better candidate in almost every facet,” said a visibly frustrated Stallings in a video conference he held from his home. “Even on the office floor, I was in clear control of the interview throughout and thought I really used the clock in my favor. Combine that with two or three of the best job references in the nation, and I thought making it to the next round was a given.”

Stallings noted that he didn’t want to blame interview officials for the outcome, but felt that several calls worked against him.

“I hate to complain, but there were some real questionable decisions being made out there,” he said. “I make a hard run at the salary question with an baseline expectation of $300,000 [a year], and they immediately blow the topic dead on the spot. I mean, come on, we’re grown men and women busting our ass out there, not some kids in a Sunday-league cashier job interview.”

Target regional managers contended that, despite Stallings’ lengthy resume, the interview game seems to have surpassed his traditional approach.

“Being second-in-command at your local Target retailer isn’t the same as it was 15, 10, even five years ago,” said southeastern regional manager Dakota Hill. “You can’t power your way through everything; it’s more about finesse than ever. Even the big men and women we have interviewing for these positions have tailored their game to show the light touch necessary to succeed.”

“And Mr. Stallings showed that he lacked touch by going 0/10 from the floor on people skills questions,” she noted.”