Category: Nonsense (Page 18 of 18)

Residents throughout Pittsburgh issued support for city police today after video evidence from last weekend revealed an unruly bar patron using his own face to strike an officer 19 times mercilessly in the fist.

Kris Roe is calling for a wide range of Pittsburgh musicians whom he can hire and fire in a furious outburst shortly thereafter for his band’s show Saturday, October 27 at the Smiling Moose, sources close to the Ataris frontman reported this afternoon.

Assigned to yet another project on the highway, PennDOT worker Doug Mitchell expressed his hope to move his family to a nicer part of Parkway West construction within the next couple years.

Pennsylvania Senator Pat Toomey has reportedly developed a supremely small growth on his pelvis believed to be a dick following his ‘no’ vote on President Trump’s latest budget that includes a $17 billion increase on military spending.

Local Pittsburgh Penguins fan Will Bennett, 33, expressed his excitement earlier today for the upcoming self-destructive behavior season set to begin officially on Thursday, October 4.

Facing fines for a noise violation, Stanton Heights resident Phil Manna was somehow sentenced to life imprisonment without parole this morning, attributed to the dreadful performance of his legal counsel led by Steelers coordinator Keith Butler.

A spontaneous study launched this afternoon by drivers throughout the Pittsburgh area aims to determine how the fuck nobody is moving even a goddamn inch, irate sources confirmed between obscenities today.

Surprising supporters and detractors alike, mercurial Steelers fan Doug Roth released an otherwise unannounced 37-minute diss track aimed at running back Le’Veon Bell during a local happy hour today.