Chuck and Ronnie try to get Pat Narduzzi’s play calling back on track, discuss how to replace Roethlisberger for the remainder of the year, and check in on Pitt’s kick-ass women’s volleyball team.
Category: Sports (Page 6 of 11)
LATROBE — New Giant Eagle sales associate Trevor Burke, 18, puked several times before his first Steelers Sunday shift this morning as if he were a fledgling draftee preparing to attack Nazi fortifications on the beaches of Normandy, according to sources telling him to get his “shit together” if he wants to make it out alive.
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OAKLAND, Calif. — Former Raiders WR Antonio Brown commissioned a billboard this morning thanking the city for “not a single goddamn thing” following his release from the team, sources waving the middle finger while leaving town report.
“May my shining legacy,” Brown stated, “be how much I wish the people of Oakland and the Raiders organization in particular to eat shit for all eternity.”
As of press time, Derek Carr was reportedly begging Brown to stop and let him get out from under his rear tires.
STUCK BEHIND A FOUR-DOOR SEDAN — Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin ensnared himself in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the northbound side of Veterans Bridge late yesterday afternoon, prompting analysts once more to question his ability to manage the clock in crucial situations.
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GREEN TREE — Designated driver Tom Francis, 33, failed to earn a spot on the final roster of the “Black and Gold, Keg’s Ice Cold” tailgate despite the group’s desperate need for a fan at that position, sources despondently staring at their glass of water confirm.
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SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Former Penguins player and assistant general manager Bill Guerin initiated impromptu hockey-style fights with numerous Minnesota Wild employees this morning to assert his dominance as the team’s new GM, sources holding ice packs to various parts of their face confirm.
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PITTSBURGH — The Pirates organization immediately redeemed the season of struggling catcher Francisco Cervelli this afternoon by releasing him from the team, sources tearfully thanking God report.
Continue readingChuck and Ronnie never mind taking a little time from day, even at Conneaut Lake, to deliver more of the sports hot takes Pittsburgh needs, including a ruling on the AB helmet situation, decisive blame for the Pirates’ endless problems, and a deep look into Mercyhurst rowing.
NORTH SHORE — Owners of the Bloomfield Shursave IGA on Liberty Ave. intend to acquire the naming rights to Heinz Field at the conclusion of the 2021 season, according to sources reminding customers that dice games are forbidden in the parking lot.
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I think my outburst at Kennywood was the final straw. It was Slovak Day and all our family was there. But in my defense, someone should have told me they took away the Log Jammer.
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