PITTSBURGH — Facing “insurmountable financial hardship,” a local Catholic parish altered today’s Easter homily to focus on less traditional canon of Jesus’s resurrection in favor of emphasizing how he “absolutely raked in the big bucks from the comfort his of grave” by using FanDuel.com, according to sources praying for pointers on today’s slate of MLB games.
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Listen, Jesus died for our sins. God’s only son sacrificed himself yadda yadda yadda — you know the deal. Anyway, letting him die on the cross to absolve us of our misgivings only not to have any would kind of be a dick move, right? Of course it would; I’m glad we’re on the same page.
Continue readingMUNHALL — Insisting he’s had enough for a whole family, local man Rudy Geller couldn’t “even think about” getting any more commitment to Christ at a local fish fry this afternoon, the 52-year-old recently confirmed.
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