FRANKLIN PARK — Local resident Roger Whitmore, 63, wondered aloud this morning whether PennDOT drivers “actually do any damn work” after looking out his living room window for 12 seconds without seeing a single plow pass, according to retired sources who wished they “could get paid to do nothing.”
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GREATER PITTSBURGH AREA — Suburban police departments throughout the area have recently commissioned B-2 bombers retired by the U.S. military in an effort to safeguard officers and residents from particularly threatening traffic, parking, and other ordinance violations, according to sources licking their lips as they slowly fondle the ‘deploy’ button.
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