I think my outburst at Kennywood was the final straw. It was Slovak Day and all our family was there. But in my defense, someone should have told me they took away the Log Jammer.
After the dust settled and I apologized for my actions to the teens working the Skycoaster, Shayna gave me an ultimatum. Either I start a proper mental therapy treatment plan to fix my rage, or she takes the kids to her sister’s in Perryopolis and starts divorce proceedings.
Fayette County? What kind of negligent father would I be if I let my babies run around down there?
So I found a Highmark-covered shrink on the North Shore. I scheduled an appointment for later that afternoon and set out on the hour-and-55-minute drive from Munhall.
But something special happened. I was listening to 93.7 The Fan in my Subaru WRX, getting real worked up at a caller’s notion that Mike Tomlin isn’t the biblical Antichrist. I would have changed the station, but I broke off the tuner and volume knobs long ago, so I was stuck listening to this horseshit. I decided to call in for the first time ever and give Poni a piece of my mind.
The moment I heard his voice say, “Let’s take a call. How you doin’ Tony?” I lost it. I immediately started screaming about the Rooneys, Tomlin, and even Paul Martin for old time’s sake. I blacked out during part of it, but I’m pretty sure they hung up on me four seconds into my rant. When I was out of words half an hour later, I experienced a relief and calm the likes of which I’ve never felt.
I immediately turned around and went home. I hugged and kissed Shayna, and pulled out the Radioshack radio from the basement. I started ravenously listening to The Fan at all hours, calling in about 12 times daily. Sure, they started blocking my number, but that’s exactly why they sell burner phones at Sheetz, right?
A few of the hosts filed restraining orders against me after I broke into the studio. What an overreaction. Come on, if you really wanted to keep fans out, get some real security. It’s trivial to spoof an RFID scanner. And I could tell by the tone of Colin Dunlap’s voice that he wanted to fight me.
My whole life I thought mental therapy was for sensitive Los Angeles types. But let me be an example. If you’re having a difficult time mentally, please talk to someone. Preferably a Pittsburgh sports radio DJ.
(Article by John Danek @jjdanek)
