MUNHALL — Insisting he’s had enough for a whole family, local man Rudy Geller couldn’t “even think about” getting any more commitment to Christ at a local fish fry this afternoon, the 52-year-old recently confirmed.
“I’m full of Lord’s light, that’s for sure,” said Geller, who noted he couldn’t talk long because he had parked in a handicapped spot to get ahead of his “beloved, but slow-as-hell” fellow Catholics. “Not too mention His batter, cod, potato, and butter. Man, I can’t remember the last time I felt this pious.”
Geller minimized his immense level of commitment between several long belches and “a few nips of the smooth, smoky blood,” saying that he was happy to make the sacrifice to show his love for Jesus.
“It comes with the territory,” he said, picking at some flakes of dedication at the bottom of a paper container. “God provides us with challenges in life, so when Mrs. Schmidt says to take an extra scoop of mac and cheese or the last two pierogies so she can switch out the tray, you don’t ask questions, you just nod politely knowing you’re blessed to serve Him.”
“I may be so blessed again here in about 30 minutes if I can force myself to fire out some evil,” he added eyeing the line to the men’s room.
Fish fry organizer Sally Miser reminded visitors to show their support throughout the year, not just for Lenten events.
“Being a good Catholic isn’t just stuffing your face full in honor of God,” she said. “Where are some of these people every third Friday, when we demonstrate our faith by placing minimum bets of $20 — though higher amounts are encouraged — on video horses? Or at our summer festival where we renew our commitment to the Lord in return for an inside straight?”
“Plus, we added another notch of betting spaces to the Money Wheel so even the kids can get involved. Minimum devotion starts at $1.”
