WEXFORD — Calling it “just the worst,” local mother Sally Reinhardt is reportedly still standing at her polling machine in search of a button to conveniently vote against 400 years of deep-rooted, state-sanctioned racism.
“I’m excited to make my voice heard,” she said. “In fact, I felt so empowered I kind of just marched in here without even checking what my ballot looks like or what any of the candidates believe. All I know is, I’ve decided that centuries of oppression and legislated violence against people of color is a bad thing, so I imagine there should be somewhere for me to click to make it go away, and that’s that, right?”
“Gosh, voting is hard,” she added, “but it feels so good to be creating widespread, fundamental change with a few easy taps.”
Reinhardt clarified that she didn’t expect the dissolution of a massively corrupt system to happen immediately.
“There has to be a transition period, obviously,” she said, wondering aloud if the vote for or against a problem older than the United States itself might have been “pushed back to November.” “I know that all the racism, those who believe in it, and the countless complex behaviors perpetuating it will still have a couple months to tidy up on their end before it can be thrown out by the new people. I’m not naive.”
Reinhardt’s neighbor Doug Barnes feels the sentiment is “too aggressive.”
“That’s Sally, always thinking with her heart and not with her head,” he said. “We all know you can’t just up and stop racism on a dime: you need to apply properly for a petition, go out and get enough signatures, and then maybe can vote on it. If you break the rules, then are you really any better than the bad guys?”
Contrary to his neighbor, Barnes indicated that he planned to click whatever button would vote for maintaining the status quo so as not to bother him. Sources say, however, that the 43-year-old heterosexual white male realized that he could stay home and “it would pretty much accomplish the same thing.”
