ROUTE 28 INBOUND — Local woman Courtney Grendel expressed satisfaction this morning that she had to sit nearly 20 minutes in standstill traffic for the first time since stay-at-home orders were issued in March, according to sources colorfully reminding other motorists which pedal was the accelerator.
“You forget how much you miss the little things,” she said, laughing as she darted into the slowly advancing left lane without a turn signal. “It feels like I haven’t given somebody the finger or screamed obscenities at the radio during a traffic report in ages. Getting back into a groove really does warm — For fuck’s sake, move, lady! It’s a highway, not the church parking lot! — the spirit.”
As of press time, reports of emerged of similar sentiments from drivers all over the area, including a line of drivers clapping and cheering uproariously after their wait for the construction worker to flip his stop sign had surpassed a half hour.
