Mt. Washington resident and “pure-bred Irish sweet talker” Mac Moore managed to charm his way into a disorderly conduct charge this morning during the city’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration, astounded friends of the 33-year-old confirmed.
Continue readingCategory: Current Events (Page 11 of 12)
Stuck at yet another Pittsburgh-based fish fry for Lent, Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ admitted he “would totally kill a man in cold blood right now” in return for a steak wedgie from Angelo’s in Bloomfield.
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Post-Gazette publisher John Block and his wife spent their Valentine’s Day evening romantically feasting on the blood of a slain common man, the couple fondly reflected upon this morning.
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KDKA will address the firing of a staffer for his lack of “journalistic responsibility” this evening right after 20 minutes of traffic updates and a squirrel on water skis, station sources recently reported.
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Several hundred gun advocates gathered in Downtown Pittsburgh yesterday to protest the city’s intent to use the “unspeakable evil” of common sense in proposing modest gun control, according to sources who weren’t exactly sure what those proposals were.
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The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come expressed their outrage today that Drusky Entertainment had moved their planned appearance in Brian Drusky’s bedroom last night to Jergel’s in Warrendale on Thursday, March 28.
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Celebrating increased revenue from sports betting, Pirates owner Bob Nutting allegedly “went wild” last night at Rivers Casino, wagering a “hefty” $4 that the franchise would make the playoffs this season.
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The local man violently demanding a refund from the manager of sports betting at Rivers Casino just hours after its grand opening has become the odds-on favorite to be the same individual Pittsburgh police officers are actively looking for, according to sources within the casino.
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An invasion of crystallized monstrosities meant to wreak unspeakable misery upon humankind, also known as snow, has befallen Pittsburgh, making the city an impassable hellscape that no man or woman should dare try to navigate, eyewitness reports confirm.
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Local trick-or-treaters and those watching after them be warned: Pittsburgh police and law enforcement in numerous surrounding areas and townships have issued an advisory that certain persons may be inserting priceless family items into kids’ Halloween candy, making it dangerous, if not deadly, to ingest.
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