Pirates broadcaster Greg Brown gave a moving guest sermon this Easter morning on how Christ rose from the dead to “absolutely hammer” a 483-foot home run that secured a Pirates victory in extra innings, puzzled but enthused sources reported.
Continue readingCategory: Current Events (Page 11 of 12)
In an impassioned speech in Oakland Sunday, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders once again advocated for a universal healthcare program in the United States and the return of “old-school, hard-nosed” Big East basketball.
Continue readingMt. Washington resident and “pure-bred Irish sweet talker” Mac Moore managed to charm his way into a disorderly conduct charge this morning during the city’s St. Patrick’s Day celebration, astounded friends of the 33-year-old confirmed.
Continue readingStuck at yet another Pittsburgh-based fish fry for Lent, Lord and Savior Jesus H. Christ admitted he “would totally kill a man in cold blood right now” in return for a steak wedgie from Angelo’s in Bloomfield.
Continue readingPost-Gazette publisher John Block and his wife spent their Valentine’s Day evening romantically feasting on the blood of a slain common man, the couple fondly reflected upon this morning.
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KDKA to Discuss Fired Staffer’s Lack of ‘Journalistic Responsibility’ After 20 Minutes of Traffic, Squirrel on Water Skis
KDKA will address the firing of a staffer for his lack of “journalistic responsibility” this evening right after 20 minutes of traffic updates and a squirrel on water skis, station sources recently reported.
Continue readingSeveral hundred gun advocates gathered in Downtown Pittsburgh yesterday to protest the city’s intent to use the “unspeakable evil” of common sense in proposing modest gun control, according to sources who weren’t exactly sure what those proposals were.
Continue readingThe Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come expressed their outrage today that Drusky Entertainment had moved their planned appearance in Brian Drusky’s bedroom last night to Jergel’s in Warrendale on Thursday, March 28.
Continue readingCelebrating increased revenue from sports betting, Pirates owner Bob Nutting allegedly “went wild” last night at Rivers Casino, wagering a “hefty” $4 that the franchise would make the playoffs this season.
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Man Threatening Manager of Rivers Sportsbook for Refund Also Heavy Favorite to Be Guy Police Looking for
The local man violently demanding a refund from the manager of sports betting at Rivers Casino just hours after its grand opening has become the odds-on favorite to be the same individual Pittsburgh police officers are actively looking for, according to sources within the casino.
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