New Raiders WR Antonio Brown has purchased a billboard in the Los Angeles area to help cultivate a combative relationship with quarterback Derek Carr before practices even begin, the star reported this morning.
Continue readingCategory: Nonsense (Page 15 of 17)
Bills QB Josh Allen canceled a rush delivery order of several books on the topic of conflict resolution this morning after reports surfaced that Steelers WR Antonio Brown had blocked a trade to Buffalo, sources sighing in relief recently reported.
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Penguins winger Phil Kessel celebrated tallying his 1200th career large pizza last night during the team’s 3-2 overtime win against the Florida Panthers.
“I just have so many people I want to thank,” he said, covered in an array of sweat, tears, and garlic butter. “All my friends and family for always believing I could consume this many large pies entirely on my own, Domino’s for its relentless commitment to delivering pizzas to me in arenas and hotels dotted throughout the continent, and of course the Penguins organization for helping me aim to binge-eat at the highest level these past for years.”
Meanwhile, team captain Sidney Crosby reportedly rewarded himself for reaching 1200 career points with a relaxing post-game CrossFit extreme workout.
Post-Gazette publisher John Block and his wife spent their Valentine’s Day evening romantically feasting on the blood of a slain common man, the couple fondly reflected upon this morning.
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Mayor Bill Peduto has allegedly stood outside Jeff Bezos’s house since early this morning, loudly reciting the Amazon mogul’s favorite tax concessions in hopes of winning him and his company back to the Pittsburgh area.
Continue readingPounding Iron and yelling at grown men who play a game professionally are known rites of passage in Pittsburgh. Even so, we’ve seen this year how even the best of Steelers fans get a bit, uh, unruly.
Then there was Barry.
The Pirates have commissioned rapper Ja Rule and imprisoned promoter Billy McFarland to begin planning a massive celebration already titled PyratesFest for the team’s “almost guaranteed” 2019 World Series championship, president Frank Coonelly excitedly revealed alongside GM Neal Huntington this morning.
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Former WTAE anchor Wendy Bell reportedly drove a dump truck full of stones to her new glass house in KDKA radio’s studio this morning in preparation for her position as co-host of the station’s afternoon show that begins after the new year.
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The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come expressed their outrage today that Drusky Entertainment had moved their planned appearance in Brian Drusky’s bedroom last night to Jergel’s in Warrendale on Thursday, March 28.
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The lack of airtime for Pittsburgh-based bands on mainstream radio stations enraged South Side resident Garth Warner so much yesterday that he nearly attended a local show right down the street from his apartment, sources overcome with indignation reported this morning.
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