The Norman family of Edgewood attended Kennywood’s opening day for season pass members this morning to mark another year of wishing they had planned a trip to Disney World instead, sources trying to sound happy confirmed.
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The fine people at Millcraft are on a mission — not just to plant a 15-acre entertainment zone along the Ohio River, but also to make its environmental impact a little friendlier for whoever is left to live in the city.
You heard it right: the $700 million Esplanade project will be powered solely through the very renewable energy source of people leaving Pittsburgh. What foresight!
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Admittedly “getting a little carried away,” food giant Kraft Heinz announced the release of their latest crossover that blends the best elements of ketchup and third-wave ska band Mustard Plug.
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Pirates broadcaster Greg Brown gave a moving guest sermon this Easter morning on how Christ rose from the dead to “absolutely hammer” a 483-foot home run that secured a Pirates victory in extra innings, puzzled but enthused sources reported.
Continue readingAnother year, another spring of question marks for the Penguins heading into the postseason. It doesn’t matter, though; the excitement of playoff hockey can’t be dulled by a mere hint of doubt.
We went down to the Big Screen at the site of our holiness, the former Civic Arena, to see what the game day experience was all about.
Acting “rashly,” Pens defenseman Kris Letang committed a careless error during locker room clean-out today, creating yet another odd-man rush of media that has plagued the team all postseason.
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Whoa, come on, guys! Why the long faces? Yeah, I know, I know — the Penguins lost. Man, they really stunk up the joint, huh? But listen, before you start talking about disappointment this and underachieving that, let me hit you with a quick reminder: it’s not about the underwhelming destination, fellas; it’s about all the squandered hours, miserable hangovers, and thousands upon thousands of dollars you coughed up along the way.
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Despite last night’s loss to the New York Islanders, Pittsburgh Penguins staff and players remain “firmly confident” that they can overcome the four-game series deficit to make it to the next round, according to sources unsure why the ice crew didn’t expect them to be at practice this morning.
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Keep the hustle going! That’s right! Good keep! He’s got room on the point! The point! There it is. Fire it, fire it!
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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In an impassioned speech in Oakland Sunday, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders once again advocated for a universal healthcare program in the United States and the return of “old-school, hard-nosed” Big East basketball.
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