Post-Gazette publisher John Block and his wife spent their Valentine’s Day evening romantically feasting on the blood of a slain common man, the couple fondly reflected upon this morning.
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Mayor Bill Peduto has allegedly stood outside Jeff Bezos’s house since early this morning, loudly reciting the Amazon mogul’s favorite tax concessions in hopes of winning him and his company back to the Pittsburgh area.
Continue readingPounding Iron and yelling at grown men who play a game professionally are known rites of passage in Pittsburgh. Even so, we’ve seen this year how even the best of Steelers fans get a bit, uh, unruly.
Then there was Barry.
KDKA will address the firing of a staffer for his lack of “journalistic responsibility” this evening right after 20 minutes of traffic updates and a squirrel on water skis, station sources recently reported.
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The Pirates have commissioned rapper Ja Rule and imprisoned promoter Billy McFarland to begin planning a massive celebration already titled PyratesFest for the team’s “almost guaranteed” 2019 World Series championship, president Frank Coonelly excitedly revealed alongside GM Neal Huntington this morning.
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Pirates GM Neal Huntington reportedly feels “better than ever” as spring training approaches thanks to the new high-intensity lying regimen he adopted over the summer.
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Local paranormal experts were finally able to defeat the evil spirit that has ominously lingered over Pitt’s Oakland campus since 2016, sources inside the Peterson Event Center confirmed last night.
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Several hundred gun advocates gathered in Downtown Pittsburgh yesterday to protest the city’s intent to use the “unspeakable evil” of common sense in proposing modest gun control, according to sources who weren’t exactly sure what those proposals were.
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Creators of the immensely popular local drama series Pittsburgh Steelers recently released brand-new content for the program despite identifying its episode last Sunday as the season finale.
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Steelers defensive coordinator Keith Butler is reportedly wandering Downtown Pittsburgh in search of Three Rivers Stadium, which he believes to be the site of today’s game versus the Cincinnati Bengals, concerned parties have reported.
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