Category: Nonsense (Page 15 of 20)

Pittsburgh Christmas Hits — Let It Rain!

‘Tis the season…to celebrate 50 degrees on Christmas and increased volatility of weather patterns, locally and worldwide. Sure, it means the Earth is being irrevocably altered by humanity, but it also means more of Pittsburgh’s favorite — er, well, as least most common — wintertime mood-setter: rain! Take it all in with this (equally as depressingly) crooned hit, Let It Rain.

Can’t get enough? Right-click the bar below and select ‘Save Audio As…’ to download the track and so it can follow you everywhere — kind of like, you know, the rain.

“Let It Rain” for download!

Local Man Going to West Virginia Game Foolishly Leaves Valuables in Plain Sight

MORGANTOWN ⁠— Local man Dan Moore foolishly left a valuable partial case of Busch Light visible in the backseat of his car this morning while visiting Morgantown for today’s college football game, sources shaking their heads confirm.

“Amateurs think buying light offers extra protection,” said local resident Sandy Watson, noting that she secures her beer fridge via padlocks and a Rune Goldberg machine connected to shotguns. “On a game day, though, you might as well put a bow on that thing. Guess that poor son of a bitch has to learn one way or another.”

Sources said “that jackass” Moore recently returned to the vehicle only to put his signed Pitt football in the trunk “like anybody here gives a shit.”

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