FINLEYVILLE — Independent meme farmer Butch Muller, 36, anticipates he will have to cease operations after his crucial Phil Kessel crop was ruined by the winger’s trade to Arizona.
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Report: Pittsburgh to Become One Giant Luxury Apartment Complex by 2021
OAKLAND — Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh warned this morning that continual unabated commercial real estate development could result in the city becoming one massive luxury apartment complex by sometime in 2021.
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GREATER PITTSBURGH AREA — Suburban police departments throughout the area have recently commissioned B-2 bombers retired by the U.S. military in an effort to safeguard officers and residents from particularly threatening traffic, parking, and other ordinance violations, according to sources licking their lips as they slowly fondle the ‘deploy’ button.
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OHIO — Countless motorists on Interstate 90 westbound have passed Olli Maatta this morning on the former Penguin defenseman’s drive to Chicago, sources pretty certain he should have his hazard lights on confirmed.
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BOSTON — “Oppressed and outraged” Boston Bruins fans intend to host their own championship parade in response to the St. Louis Stanley Cup championship parade that began today at noon, according to sources asking passersby “what the fuck [they’re] looking at.”
Continue readingChuck and Ronnie spend a little of their downtime giving you the hottest takes on Pittsburgh sports. They also yelled at people speeding down the road.
WEST MIFFLIN — Kennywood Park faces further controversy this morning after observant visitors noticed the park serving several different brands of beer to minors other than local favorite Iron City.
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Emboldened by a petition to remake the final season of Game of Thrones with new writers, a group of Steelers fans has launched a petition demanding the NFL let the team re-play its 2018-2019 season with “competent coaches that don’t suck shit.”
Continue readingMay can bring with it a tide of competitive indifference: no reason to wave one’s Terrible Towel or holler ‘Shoot!’ at a defenseman with two opposing players in front of him and three career goals over 817 games.
Luckily, there’s always that one ace-in-the-hole: Pirates baseball. For those more inclined to support consistently successful teams, however, a Buccos game may be an unfamiliar experience. That’s why Pittsburgh Unfiltered went to PNC Park one lovely weekend afternoon: to show you how to make the most out of that Exciting Buccos Baseball.
SHADYSIDE — Former South Side resident and insufferable fuckboy Tom Keefe decided he is ready to “grow up” and embrace his next stage of life as a Shadyside-based fuckboy, the 25-year-old confirmed between posts on Snapchat and Instagram of his “sick” studio apartment.
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