The Pirates have commissioned rapper Ja Rule and imprisoned promoter Billy McFarland to begin planning a massive celebration already titled PyratesFest for the team’s “almost guaranteed” 2019 World Series championship, president Frank Coonelly excitedly revealed alongside GM Neal Huntington this morning.
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Pirates GM Neal Huntington reportedly feels “better than ever” as spring training approaches thanks to the new high-intensity lying regimen he adopted over the summer.
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Local paranormal experts were finally able to defeat the evil spirit that has ominously lingered over Pitt’s Oakland campus since 2016, sources inside the Peterson Event Center confirmed last night.
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Several hundred gun advocates gathered in Downtown Pittsburgh yesterday to protest the city’s intent to use the “unspeakable evil” of common sense in proposing modest gun control, according to sources who weren’t exactly sure what those proposals were.
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Creators of the immensely popular local drama series Pittsburgh Steelers recently released brand-new content for the program despite identifying its episode last Sunday as the season finale.
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Steelers defensive coordinator Keith Butler is reportedly wandering Downtown Pittsburgh in search of Three Rivers Stadium, which he believes to be the site of today’s game versus the Cincinnati Bengals, concerned parties have reported.
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Former WTAE anchor Wendy Bell reportedly drove a dump truck full of stones to her new glass house in KDKA radio’s studio this morning in preparation for her position as co-host of the station’s afternoon show that begins after the new year.
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The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come expressed their outrage today that Drusky Entertainment had moved their planned appearance in Brian Drusky’s bedroom last night to Jergel’s in Warrendale on Thursday, March 28.
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Steelers kicker Chris Boswell is still exhaling in relief after not having to attempt a game-tying field goal last night against the Saints, friends and family routinely checking on him confirmed.
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Having forfeited a costly fumble during the team’s final drive, Steelers WR JuJu Smith-Schuster admitted after the loss that he had picked the worst possible time to advertise Pizza Hut’s new Extra Greasy Crust Pizza.
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