KYOTO — A foodie blogger from West Mifflin turned the culinary world on its head by adding smuggled Potato Patch fries on top of his sea urchin sushi while vacationing in Japan, baffled onlookers reported.
Continue readingCategory: Nonsense (Page 12 of 17)
As the father of two young children, I’ve learned to think proactively. Taking a trip, having guests, any potential kinks to the routine — you just get an inkling for what’s going to stir the pot, so to speak. That’s why, when I look ahead to my kids’ future, I can’t help but be absolutely terrified. That’s right, I’m afraid that my children will live in a world where they will call Eli Manning ‘the football one’ of the family. Even now, I shudder.
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Let me start by saying, you’re welcome. I doubt you’d have been able to come this conclusion by your pathetic self, even if Double M yelled it right in your face and I quickly repeated it in words that were just different enough to make it sound somewhat novel afterwards.
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EASTON, N.J. — Weather around Pittsburgh on Christmas Eve and Day inspired crayon institution Crayola to create its latest shade of “uniquely depressing” gray, representatives at the company announced this morning.
Continue reading‘Tis the season…to celebrate 50 degrees on Christmas and increased volatility of weather patterns, locally and worldwide. Sure, it means the Earth is being irrevocably altered by humanity, but it also means more of Pittsburgh’s favorite — er, well, as least most common — wintertime mood-setter: rain! Take it all in with this (equally as depressingly) crooned hit, Let It Rain.
Can’t get enough? Right-click the bar below and select ‘Save Audio As…’ to download the track and so it can follow you everywhere — kind of like, you know, the rain.
ETNA — Fall temperatures have prompted local man Paul Novak to begin his now annual transition to “full-length jorts” that he personally fashioned from previously removed stretches of denim, according to sources contentedly looking at themselves in the mirror.
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MURRYSVILLE — Long-time Sheetz manager Robert McGrane tearfully revealed to shift staff this morning his recent diagnosis of colon shmancer, sources asking that everybody act as if everything were “totally shnormal” confirmed.
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BIGELOW BOULEVARD — “Some complete fucking idiot” actually obeyed the posted speed limit of 35 mph on Bigelow Boulevard this morning, sources who couldn’t believe this shit report.
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HEINZ FIELD — Neither staff, students, or other guests attending Pitt’s Saturday afternoon game against Delaware know how former coach Dave Wannstedt managed to sneak a full keg of American Light into the student section, sources filling out an impromptu waiting list for keg stands confirm.
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PITTSBURGH INTERNATIONAL — Local man Mark McCall, 42, was reportedly able to provide his three kids significantly more details about Steelers running back Franco Harris than first President of the United States George Washington when passing their statues this morning at Pittsburgh International Airport.
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