Chuck and Ronnie never mind taking a little time from day, even at Conneaut Lake, to deliver more of the sports hot takes Pittsburgh needs, including a ruling on the AB helmet situation, decisive blame for the Pirates’ endless problems, and a deep look into Mercyhurst rowing.
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OAKLAND — Citing concerns for public disruption and safety, South and North Oakland residents have jointly renewed their petition to cull the area’s overgrown freshmen population now during its prime migration period, neighborhood sources confirmed today.
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BLOOMFIELD — Little Italy Days visitor Paul Hillman reportedly looks most forward to trying the “authentically Italian” collision coverage offered by State Farm.
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NORTH SHORE — Owners of the Bloomfield Shursave IGA on Liberty Ave. intend to acquire the naming rights to Heinz Field at the conclusion of the 2021 season, according to sources reminding customers that dice games are forbidden in the parking lot.
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DOWNTOWN, NORTH SHORE — Adding to the fervor of the Picklesburgh event, Kraft Heinz announced today it plans to release a pickle-based sex toy by the end of 2019.
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I think my outburst at Kennywood was the final straw. It was Slovak Day and all our family was there. But in my defense, someone should have told me they took away the Log Jammer.
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DOWNTOWN — Steelers fan Adam King, 31, played Styx favorite ‘Renegade’ at full volume earlier today in hopes of inspiring a comeback in the later stages of his third DUI hearing over the last several years, courtroom sources confirmed.
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EASTON, N.J. — Sections of the Monongahela River running through Pittsburgh recently inspired crayon institution Crayola to create its latest shade of “uniquely off-putting” brown, representatives at the company announced this morning.
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GREEN TREE — Citing the caller’s poor reasoning, blind support for team owners, and highly implausible trade suggestions, WXDX listeners have expressed their belief that “Jake from Highland Park” is finally the caller who will cause Mark Madden to enter cardiac arrest on air.
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DORMONT — Castle Shannon mother Darcy Brooks reportedly vocalized her outrage this morning after discovering a neighborhood breakfast spot offered alternative-brand condiments instead of supporting “everybody’s hometown favorite” $26.2-billion manufactured food corporation, the Kraft Heinz Company.
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