BIGELOW BOULEVARD — “Some complete fucking idiot” actually obeyed the posted speed limit of 35 mph on Bigelow Boulevard this morning, sources who couldn’t believe this shit report.
Continue readingPage 24 of 35
To our dearest jag readers,
Hockey is certainly something not to be taken lightly, and when hoping to match wits angrily under the influence of a dozen domestics, it takes a certain breadth of knowledge to knock your counterpart into submission.
To that end, I present to you A Game of Violence: Three Periods and a Lot of Blood, a hockey tome aimed at providing the insight you need to demonstrate that you have way too much time on your hands and probably shouldn’t be allowed out in public.
Continue reading
This excerpt is from Pittsburgh Unfiltered’s completely unlicensed hockey compendium A Game of Violence: Three Periods and a Lot of Blood, which will be made available as a free PDF download at the start of the Penguins season Thursday, October 3. Now get out there and demand blood while banging your head to ‘Enter Sandman.’
Continue reading
This excerpt is from Pittsburgh Unfiltered’s completely unlicensed hockey compendium A Game of Violence: Three Periods and a Lot of Blood, which will be made available as a free PDF download at the start of the Penguins season on Thursday, October 3. We wanted to get, like, Scott Paulsen or our beer guy Vince to write a guest entry, but this goofball wouldn’t leave us alone, so enjoy — or whatever.
Hello reader,
My name is Gary Bettman and I’m the commissioner of the very popular, highly prosperous, and virtually controversy-free National Hockey League. You may have seen me, some of my colleagues, and good hockey friends – just ask them! – briefly between basketball highlights and high school softball coverage on the ESPN – yes, the very same you’re thinking of!
Continue reading
This excerpt is from Pittsburgh Unfiltered’s completely unlicensed hockey compendium A Game of Violence: Three Periods and a Lot of Blood, which will be made available as a free PDF download at the start of the Penguins’ season Thursday, October 3. The editor — pretty sure he goes by Chief — was a jagoff, but he begged us (/paid us handsomely in beer) to post this section first, so here goes nothing.
Continue reading
HEINZ FIELD — Neither staff, students, or other guests attending Pitt’s Saturday afternoon game against Delaware know how former coach Dave Wannstedt managed to sneak a full keg of American Light into the student section, sources filling out an impromptu waiting list for keg stands confirm.
Continue reading
PITTSBURGH INTERNATIONAL — Local man Mark McCall, 42, was reportedly able to provide his three kids significantly more details about Steelers running back Franco Harris than first President of the United States George Washington when passing their statues this morning at Pittsburgh International Airport.
Continue reading
SHALER — Local father Pete Jones remains undecided how he will uniquely butcher new Penguins winger Alex Galchenyuk’s last name, the 56-year-old reported between comments on defenseman Erik “Gundersson” (Gudbranson) and forward Nick “Bugstot” (Bjugstad).
Continue readingChuck and Ronnie try to get Pat Narduzzi’s play calling back on track, discuss how to replace Roethlisberger for the remainder of the year, and check in on Pitt’s kick-ass women’s volleyball team.
MORGANTOWN — Local man Dan Moore foolishly left a valuable partial case of Busch Light visible in the backseat of his car this morning while visiting Morgantown for today’s college football game, sources shaking their heads confirm.
“Amateurs think buying light offers extra protection,” said local resident Sandy Watson, noting that she secures her beer fridge via padlocks and a Rune Goldberg machine connected to shotguns. “On a game day, though, you might as well put a bow on that thing. Guess that poor son of a bitch has to learn one way or another.”
Sources said “that jackass” Moore recently returned to the vehicle only to put his signed Pitt football in the trunk “like anybody here gives a shit.”
